Forget honors. These constant reminders of "lasts" are scary.
Today was one of those dreary days at Swarthmore when all anyone would ever want to do is nap. It was cloudy and windy and drizzly all day. I was sitting in the Science Center commons today, and about half the people sitting in the comfy chairs were napping, with books next to their faces. And I was so tempted to join them because that was what the weather demanded. That and hot chocolate.
Then I remembered that only two weeks ago, we had gorgeous fall weather with blue skies and brisk air, and the foliage was unbelievable. The Japanese maples in front of Wharton were displaying this fantastic gradient of bright green to brilliant red-orange to dark mulberry red. I wake up each morning and see this through my window:
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| From Late Fall 2009 |
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| From Late Fall 2009 |
And when I walk outside, I would see this:
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| From Late Fall 2009 |
The Wharton courtyard was littered with golden yellow leaves. When the wind blew, there were showers of gold. The sunlight would filter through the trees, reflect off the bright leaves falling down and onto the stone courtyard. Those were mornings you woke up early for.
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| From Late Fall 2009 |
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| From Late Fall 2009 |
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| From Late Fall 2009 |
And this afternoon, I thought to myself OMG, I'm never going to see that again. Ever.
But then I shook myself, thinking, that's not the right attitude at all. True, Lasts are sad. I may not see foliage at Swarthmore for a long while, but there will always be new places to explore, new foliage and blossoms and everything in between to see. And that made me feel better, about this being-a-senior business.
Until I remembered that I still have all the other academic worries to deal with before I go wander off to explore new places. Sigh.
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